(Taken from chbcaudio.org)
August 31, 2008
Philemon 17 – 25
Forgiveness: A Friend
Mark Dever
John Bunyan was put into prison for 12 years simply for preaching the Gospel. How would you feel about this? Wouldn’t you think that if Bunyan were doing the right thing God would bless him? Would your response be bitterness? Would you rationalize that it would be a small cost to stop preaching the Gospel? Bunyan’s time in prison resulted in the writing of Pilgrim’s Progress. God ordained Bunyan’s time in captivity to be productive in order to bless us all.
Many of the New Testament epistles were written by Paul while he was imprisoned. He could have gone free if he agreed to stop preaching; he didn’t, so spent many years in prison and under house arrest.
About half of the population of the Roman Empire was enslaved. Slavery was not based on race. Most were slaves due to financial debt. If there were a strained relationship between a master and slave, Roman law provided that slave could go to a friend of his master to seek assistance in reconciling with the master. Onesimus probably was not a runaway slave, but sought Paul out according to this law. Onesimus became a Christian through Paul’s ministry.
Three Pictures of Love
I. Love that reconciles.
Seven things useful to us in being reconcilers:
1. Spend yourself for others. Paul was willing to put his relationship with Philemon on the line. Verse 17 contains the first imperative verb of the chapter – welcome Onesimus. There were special factors complicating this request that made it difficult. Verse 18 gets specific with the second imperative – charge. Paul says he will pay what Onesimus owes. Paul is doing what he understood Christ did for him. We have all centered our lives around ourselves, what the Bible calls sin. As a result, we deserve death. Christ took upon Himself the punishment for all who would repent and trust in Him for forgiveness and salvation. God raised Christ from the dead, overpowering death that all who trust in Him might live. Paul calls upon Philemon to forgive Onesimus as Philemon was forgiven by God.
2. Paul boldly reminds Philemon of his indebtedness to himself. In verse 19, Paul encourages Philemon toward obedience in a delicate but bold way. Philemon probably came to Christ under Paul’s teaching so he did owe Paul a lot, putting into perspective Onesimus’ debt to Philemon with Philemon’s debt to Paul. (See the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18.) We should use our own personal example when working on reconciliation with others. We must call on people to forgive. You can’t be involved in reconciliation without making some gutsy calls.
3. In verse 20, Paul calls on Philemon to forgive because it would benefit Paul. To “refresh me” is one argument he gives. Paul identifies himself with Onesimus. It would bring Paul joy to see reconciliation between the two.
4. Depend on God and express trust in the one you forgive (verse 21). Be willing to express confidence in a person’s obedience when asking them to forgive.
5. Help build relationships because relationships become the context of forgiveness. In Christianity, we become family with people very unlike ourselves. In verse 22, Paul reminds Philemon they will have a continuing relationship and reminds the church of this as well. Family is an important place to learn reconciliation. Reconciliation is the basic part of understanding the Gospel.
6. Paul presents himself as an example of forgiveness (verse 23). We can do the same. Paul brings reminders of reconciliation to Philemon. We want to be the kind of Christians that are examples of forgiveness, not feeding divisions, but bringing peace. Jesus taught in His sermon on the mount, “blessed are the peacemakers.” Carefully and humbly draw people to your example.
7. Remind others of Christ’s grace in their own lives. Point to Christ. Pray for them.
II. Love that forgives.
1. Be easy to entreat; allow your affections to be easy to be led (verse 17). Give the benefit of doubt to those you love and trust. Remember, you are an offender yourself.
2. Humble yourself. Accept other people’s attempts at reconciliation. Be willing to let others make restitution to you. Remember that someone else made restitution for you. Don’t require it, but be willing to receive it. Have you ever been forgiven anything? If we have been forgiven by God, we should are compelled to forgive others. We are called to humble, accepting, loving forgiveness. This will be completed when Christ returns!
3. Consider the wider implications of your call to forgiveness – the way forgiveness in one case will relieve pressures in other relationships. Bless all those affected by your forgiveness.
4. Maintain close relationships (verse 22). Paul is working toward a close relationship with not just Philemon but others in the church. Cultivate close relationships with other Christians.
5. Remember the Gospel; it obliges us to forgive and provides us opportunities to show how God has dealt with us in grace. In Matthew 18:21-22 Peter asks the Lord, “How often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus replies, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.” Jesus says there should be no limit to the amount of forgiveness we should give. What a wicked servant we see in Matthew 18:30. He had been treated with such grace. We are called to have complete humility. We can’t hold onto both grudges and the cross! Christian, consider how you have been forgiven by God. The grace of Jesus Christ is our reason to forgive. Remember your own indebtedness to God when you need to forgive another.
6. Pray for God’s help. God can do anything. Forgiveness draws attention to the Gospel. When you are wronged it is an opportunity to bring attention to the Gospel. Families and workplaces are great places to show forgiveness and reflect the Gospel. Unforgiveness is a disease in the body of Christ. God brings freedom through the Gospel.
III. Love that endures.
We don’t know what happened to Philemon. History suggests he became a pastor and was martyred. What about Onesimus? History also points to him being martyred. Paul was beheaded for his faith. Luke went on to write half of the New Testament. Mark’s relationship with Paul was revived by forgiveness. He wrote a Gospel, evangelized, and was martyred. Epaphras was a faithful companion to Paul, leading the church in Colossae and was martyred. Aristarchus was also a pastor and was martyred. By God’s grace, their love endured. Demas, however, stands in a sharp contrast with the others. He deserted Paul because of his love of the world. No other trace of him in history. His love gave up. How can we tell if we love the world like Demas? If we begin to see things differently than God goes; if offenses against God lessen and offenses by others become greater. Our love doesn’t endure. There were two thieves on the cross. One thief was saved that we might be encouraged, but only one that we might not presume.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are at the heart of the Gospel. Bunyan spent his last days working for reconciliation. Love the brotherhood of believers.
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